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Life is too short for having a bunker

Life is too short for having a bunker

As a professional woman in need desperate network fertile ground, I have to admit that there was a "if-you-cannot-beat 'em …" aspect to my decision to play golf. The golf course was for me, rather than a satellite location for the testosterone-dominated business world in which I work, where all sorts of high-level wheel and offers were made happened before the third tee.

I loved the action and did not take a genius to notice that almost all business-related conferences, retirement, or seminar took place in the vicinity of the suspect is a golf course. Not to mention the fact that the men in my office defended the use of mid-week a pink polo and pants inhalation khaki self-important, "Hey, I'm playing New Pine Hills with a client today." I suspect that if I showed up at the office in a fleece hoodie two-piece, flip-flops, and my hair in a ponytail, and explained he was taking a client to a supine Emotions and facial spa, there would be absolutely the same long ring to it.

So I signed up for golf lessons.

It has everything I look for in a sport, sartorially speaking. I can almost summarize in two words: no Spandex. As for me, which is a minimum requirement for any sport. That and the lack of need for protective equipment of any kind. It also does not mean gay white skirts with lace panties little shy, rent shoes, tank tops, micro-shorts, sports bras or rubber boots. In fact, from the point of view of fashion alone, the perfect sport. Who does not seek to break with sunglasses, a visor, a natural fiber shirt and shorts wide leg? Throw in a hat and McGann, athletically speaking, there is simply nothing better.

I can not help noting that men also have made tangible progress on this front. Pastel shirts and flashy pants have disappeared. Well, except for the late Jack Lemmon teams in Pebble Beach. I guess the last PGA outlaws and wise white belts and tables of any kind. Once the color television became commonplace, the sport's future depends on it.

It is surprising that a sport so dominated by men is not disgustingly sexist. I played several rounds and have not yet seen anyone head back, slap butts, pick the ball, do anything like the Funky Chicken. The mere image of Arnold Palmer set himself and spitting is unthinkable. It is also difficult for fans golf picture with faces painted in team colors swinging a hatchet air.

This decorum is even reflected in the names of the golfers. famous golfers are perfectly civilized nicknames like Jack or Lee. There is a Bubba or Mad Dog "on the lot. The emergence of Tiger on the scene may jeopardize my whole theory and presage a modern movement towards savagery. However, any sport ready to embrace someone called Fuzzy my vote.

As it turns out, the only thing about steroids in this sport is the bag. As if my roots, self-serving, capitalist reason were not inconvenient enough, I have been accused of taking golf to be licensed to carry a bag of five feet. I admit I started salivating when I got a golf bag as a gift and imagined many uses for numerous sections, irregularly shaped, cleverly with zip.

Shortly thereafter, I was so excited seen on the cover of women's golf the teaser, "What's in the pockets of the Pros?" He could hardly wait to confirm that me and the pros' bags were packed with the same essentials: lipstick, Whopper wrappers, hair scrunchies, car keys, and, of course, my business cards.

Imagine my disappointment in learning that Alice Ritzman is a driver in his bag "Data from nine degrees prgr graphite shaft, flex firm" and Kris Tschetter leads a "Ping Eye 2 (Red Dot) beryllium copper 53 – and 60-degree sand wedge with graphite shafts G. Loomis." I felt so betrayed.

The courses are always naturally arid deserts have become inconceivable quantities of water in beautiful green landscapes. But the game itself interferes a bit with my desire communion with nature and celebrate our cosmic-ness.

I find it rake the bunker to have some therapeutic effect zen. The actual game is, of course, impossible. As a result, golf clubs, unlike golf bags are not the least bit easy to use. The mere notion that you could at the same time standing, beating a small area on the ground with a long pole skinny is laughable. Assuming that can be done with precision and power is frankly insane. No offense to golfers virtuous race walking in carrying their bags, but I guess the sport is not very high on the index of endorphins, either. Yes, if not for the actual game play, this no doubt would be the perfect sport.

Despite my own lack of knowledge, gender is not much of a disadvantage in golf. A slow, careful swing a good team can bring the same result as the big biceps and sheer power supply. No, oddly enough, the advantage in men's golf is not physical. It is mathematical. They have developed these betting games that definitely goofy for the left side of the brain. I think he can dominate "skins", but I need a laptop to "Bingo, Bango, Bongo" – the name of which is always slightly lewd. And when someone suggests "multiple presses or Greenies, birds and sand in Nassau, "I only throw my wallet and I say take what you want.

As with many things, my forte is not in truth substance, but the accessory. I am a scholar in the apres-golf frankly. The ritual dressing room with a cold beer and a fat-laden snack that is natural for me. I was discovered recently spread mud on my pants cuffs and writing in a scorecard, before hoisting my clubs in my trunk and heading directly from the parking lot the club bar, where he settled with a stack of my business cards directly in front of me and waited for business opportunities to walk to the unfortunate.

A negative (Apart from the ugly little line at the ankle) is the world's unparalleled gag gifts that invites to play golf. I had just hung up from programming my first lesson when my daughter presented me with a collector plate in a fancy street with a waterfall, hill, ocean and alligator pit infested. I had no joke. This is how most streets really come to me. It was followed closely by a watch the club, a "I'd Rather Be Golf" under the license plate and a golfers' Do it with follow-through "sticker. I wondered if, in this elegant sport, kitsch market as it is. . . until I saw an electric coffee-cup-warming-mountain that doubles as an indoor golf cup, yell "fore" when you touches. The pink, custom components have to go, however.

So far, my business plan athlete has been met with limited success surprising. Golf has given me to an event to entertain clients, a place to gather with peers, and a common topic of conversation for many of my professional colleagues. I also introduced to the contacts and friendships that seemed unfortunately inaccessible due to my gender. As it turns out, however, the full benefit of these contacts is instantly deleted each time I explain that I would not consider to accumulate points, and life is too short to hit out of a bunker.

About the Author

Roxanne Holmes has been an attorney in San Francisco for 24 years. She practiced in a law firm for 13 years, and now works for the California Supreme Court.
If you wish to contact the author, email her at: roxwrite@aol.com

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